Wonders of the SF muni (old)

Now...I thought to myself today on my bus ride home from school that I live quite the interesting life (or everyone around me does and I just like to observe and laugh). If I would have started writing blog entries like 2 years ago I could have a fucking book by now.

SOOO here we go. I have to say that living in San Francisco has been quite the experience, but I love it! Besides the parking tickets (I won't get into that), my weakness is the bus, also known as moonie, or just muni...let's just say we have a love hate relationship. I hate it and it likes to take my money and on the muni I have witnessed some things that most people should never have to see.

There are too many past experiences to count, so lets just say in the past 5 months I have seen 3 fights, had about 800 crotches in my face (most action I've had in my entire life), a black man push a old asian man out the back door while spitting on him, another black man yell at an 80 year old man for having his bag on the chair next to him, which i guess is now considered a hate crime (which he made clear by telling the old man that he needs to catch up on his readings of Rosa Parks hehe), drunk 14 year old girls falling over on Halloween, homeless people trying to fit their shopping carts through the doors, and too many trannys (or transies, thanks Ash) to count.
Sadly the details of those events are vague, so I will start with yesterdays adventure.

So I get out of class dreading the fact that I need to go buy art supplies. Taking the bus and art supplies just don't get along. I have to buy a ginormous black board to mount my project on...seriously though, its bigger than me. Walking down the street these things take flight knocking people out that are in my path. I apologize to people for hitting them as I squeeze my way to the back of the bus.

I sit down in the back of the bus, black board in front of me, when all of a sudden I hear,
"excuuuuzee me, excuuuuzze me"
I raise my head slowly dreading to see whom this voice belongs to. To my "surprise" I see a cracked out lady with a dangling weave looking directly at me.
"You need to move that shit so I can sit down, I'm fucking tired."

I scoot my "shit" over hitting a couple more people on my way. It was then I noticed this lady is carrying a toaster, yes a TOASTER! What the hell are you doing carrying a toaster on a bus? And I thought ginormous boards were weird. She wouldn't stop scowling at me either (probably because I couldn't stop staring at her toaster).

The bus is crowded by now and a homeless drunk man enters the scene...he's standing up leaning against the chair.
"excuuuuze me, sir. You need to getchor ass off dat chair. How would you like it if someone's ass was on your chair?"
The drunk man ignores her as she continues to get more heated and rambles on under her breath. A couple minuets later toaster lady grabs her toaster and exits the scene.

Drunk man mumbles absurd things about god knows what...although I do recall hearing Bush's name (nothing new there). He continues to talk to himself and then to the older man across from him, who introduces himself politely. Drunk man goes on to ask the nice fellow if he smokes crack because he himself is fucked up. Drunk man continues and asks the guy to let him know when we get downtown. For those who aren't familiar with my situation taking the bus home from school is the opposite direction from downtown. I think to myself...we just came from there! The man informs him he is on the right bus but going to wrong direction, he simply tells him to cross the street and get the next bus going back where we came from. Drunk man isn't having this he gets super angry and can't seem to comprehend the situation. About 7 stops later he decides to get up and get off the bus...while doing so he falls on top of a kid who looks to be about 13! and when I say fall I mean every pound of smelly, drunk homeless man onto this poor innocent kid. Can you say AWKWARD? He stumbles off the bus onto the sidewalk...everyone stares out the window as he walks the same direction our bus was going!! We all look at each other and the kids friends laugh at him, as do I. I get home and wash my hands...it felt necessary...